Category: Patience

Sift the lies from the truth

We have been looking at some of the ways we can sift the lies from the truth despite the mess created by abuse, and the story of Elijah gives us some clues. Much of what God did with Elijah was simply care for and affirm him. But God also helped Elijah refine his understanding of what was happening around him.

It’s possible Elijah was experiencing some degree of hypervigilance. There was certainly cause for that. Elijah was on the run for his life.

Listening through the mess

Listening through the mess created by abuse is difficult for most.

In the previous post, we touched on some of the ways abusers disrupt our capacity to hear clearly. Those tactics can create significant, even overwhelming, internal noise and confusion.

What does it mean to cherish someone?

What does it mean to cherish someone? It’s a word that is often used in wedding vows, but it is relevant in all our relationships.

When Paul and Timothy wrote to the Colossians, they praised them for the love they held for all people, and that sense of holding love is like cherishing.

Am I losing my faith? (PTSD)

In the last few posts we have been looking at an important question that comes up for many victims of abuse: “Am I losing my faith?” We’ve had a brief look at some of the impact of depression and anxiety. I want to reiterate that these conditions can express...

The value of true friends

Dedicated abusers can be really good at turning up the heat. One part of the cycle of abuse, in fact, is to apply more and more pressure until their victim does something apparently worthy of complaint. For example, they might just “press your buttons”, again and...

He knows you, and delights in you

Where is God in the turmoil of abuse, or other trauma? Over and over again, we see people in the Bible asking this question. If you’ve been following this series, we grappled with it in the story of Lazarus. But what about us, now? One of the last things Jesus did...

Is Jesus safe to allow in?

Experiences of trauma can make it difficult to be confident: is Jesus safe to allow in? We have been looking at the story of Martha, Mary, Lazarus, and Jesus, and to remind ourselves of Lazarus’s perspective: he believed Jesus could heal him. He counted Jesus as a...

The dilemma of ongoing, significant disagreement with God

Yesterday we started looking at the dilemma of having ongoing, significant disagreement with God. Especially in the context of also relating to an abusive person who claims to be always right. There are a number of psalms and stories in the Bible that share this...

Has God forgotten me?

Have you ever wondered, "Has God forgotten me?" If so, you are not the first. This is not a new experience. We find the same question expressed over and over again in the Bible. For example, David cried out: How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will...

Some trust in chariots and some in horses

One of the many difficult and important challenges for victims of abuse is to predict future behaviour. Is the abuser going to change? Abuse often happens in a cycle, with increasing tension until there is an episode, followed by a show of “remorse” from the abuser,...

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