The tactic of turning the tables can be devastating in the hands of an experienced abuser. But what is turning the tables? How can we protect ourselves against it? Check out our 3-minute guide, below. Definition The Collins Dictionary gives us a few definitions...
What is a non-apology? How can we know if an apology is sincere? Non-apologies can be very convincing! So here's our 2-minute guide that we hope will help you keep your head clear. Definition Merriam-Webster tells us a non-apology is: A disingenuous or...
How can we make practising kindness part of our everyday life? What is kindness anyway? Definition According to the Cambridge Dictionary, kindness is the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality ...
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a commonly used term these days, but what does it mean? How can you tell if it’s happening to you or to someone you know? Let’s take a 2-minute look.
What is blame-shifting? How can you tell if someone is shifting the blame? Here’s our 2-minute guide.
Why didn’t Jonathan believe David, his trusted friend who came to him for help?
In our series on apologies, we’ve been looking at Saul and Jonathan as a way of exploring the difference between authentic apologies and non-apologies.
It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you care about remain stuck in a dangerous situation. And it can be hard to know how to help a friend in a toxic relationship. It’s easy to feel powerless. So if you have a friend in a dangerous marriage or other abusive situation, what can you do?
One of the most important things to keep in mind – and hopefully this is a relief – is that there are some wonderful organisations out there who can help. The best professionals know when they are getting outside their area of expertise, and the importance of connecting people with the best support. So the number one tip we have to give, far above any other piece of advice, is to help your friend connect with experts who can help them. That is, refer.
When abusers are nice to you does that mean they aren't abusing others? In our last article, we looked at Jonathan's grave error in thinking he could just talk to Saul and that would make David safe. Instead, all he achieved was to put David at greater risk by...
Will an abuser stop if you ask them to? That was the solution Jonathan tried, a little over 3000 years ago, when Saul ordered him to kill David. He only made things worse. Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill...
As we saw with Saul in our last article, abusers might employ a barrage of emotional abuse tactics that can make it very difficult to know how to spot a non-apology. Those tactics can make conversations about harm and responsibility very confusing. To cut through that...
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