Why didn’t Jonathan believe David, his trusted friend who came to him for help?
In our series on apologies, we’ve been looking at Saul and Jonathan as a way of exploring the difference between authentic apologies and non-apologies.
Category: Physical Violence
When abusers are nice to you
When abusers are nice to you does that mean they aren't abusing others? In our last article, we looked at Jonathan's grave error in thinking he could just talk to Saul and that would make David safe. Instead, all he achieved was to put David at greater risk by...
Will an abuser stop if you ask them to?
Will an abuser stop if you ask them to? That was the solution Jonathan tried, a little over 3000 years ago, when Saul ordered him to kill David. He only made things worse. Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill...
Saul’s skill at non-apologies
As part of his armoury of abusive tactics, we can see Saul’s skill at non-apologies. If we understand his tactics, that can help us spot non-apologies in our own situations.
Saul’s narcissism and rage
In our previous post, we looked at some of King Saul's blame-shifting tactics, and now we come to consider Saul's narcissism and rage. When Saul's desires were frustrated, he lashed out at others. In the story of Israel's war with the Philistines at this time, Samuel...
The sons of Belial and Hophni and Phinehas
"Sons of Belial" is a Hebrew term that can help us find stories of abuse in the Bible. There are many examples of abuse in the Bible, but as mentioned previously, the Bible doesn’t categorise abuse in the same way we do now. It refers to abusive behaviours as specific...
Hophni and Phinehas: Violence, and Flying Monkeys
Yesterday we started looking at Hophni and Phinehas’s behaviour with the women who served at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. Was it sexual assault? The strong power imbalance made consent unlikely. If you missed it, you can read about it here. Hophni and Phinehas...
Eli, Hophni, and Phinehas
One of the harshest punishments we ever see in the Old Testament is towards Eli, Hophni, and Phinehas. What did they do that was so wrong?
1 and 2 Samuel are full of stories and examples about abuse. That makes sense. Sin plays a heavy role in the way these stories progress, and what we now call “abuse” is a grouping of different harmful or toxic behaviours: different sins.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses
One of the many difficult and important challenges for victims of abuse is to predict future behaviour. Is the abuser going to change? Abuse often happens in a cycle, with increasing tension until there is an episode, followed by a show of “remorse” from the abuser,...
Too long have I lived among those who hate peace
What is life like for those who are living with abuse? The psalmist wrote: Too long have I lived among those who hate peace Living with abuse is a daily experience for many. Abusers do not need to fill their time with violence, anger,...