Learn about abuse and healthy relationships
Abuse can be incredibly confusing, but the good news is it’s possible to get better at spotting it.
Our articles can help you learn about different types of abusive behaviour so you can be better equipped to spot abuse and respond to it.
As a Christian organisation, we want to learn from the best insights in psychology, sociology, and business. We use those insights to help us understand what our Christian faith has to teach us about abuse and healthy relationships.
Our hope is that you, and all of us, can become answers to Paul’s prayer:
“that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”
(Philippians 1:9-11)
Some aspects of healthy relationships just require good intentions. But when it comes to more complicated dynamics around abuse, it takes knowledge and depth of insight to separate ourselves from harmful, unloving behaviour.
Our prayer is we can serve you in that goal.
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Check our glossary of abuse terminology
Featured articles
How can you help a friend in a toxic relationship?
How can you know if an apology is sincere?
What does it mean to cherish someone?
Find some of our most popular articles below.
How can you help a friend in a toxic relationship?
It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you care about remain stuck in a dangerous situation. And it can be hard to know how to help a friend in a toxic relationship. It’s easy to feel powerless. So if you have a friend in a dangerous marriage or other abusive situation, what can you do?
How can you spot a non-apology?
How can you know if an apology is sincere? You might like to start with our guide to spotting a non-apology, or dig a little deeper with our series on Saul’s abuse tactics.
King Saul was a well-practised abuser, and his story can teach us a lot about abusive behaviour. One of his many tactics was shifting the blame, but we have a series looking at many of his behaviours.
What does it mean to cherish someone?
The idea of “cherishing” is in many people’s wedding vows, but what does it mean? And if a person vows to cherish their spouse but doesn’t, what are the implications?
When abusive behaviour can lead to so much confusion and self-doubt for the victim, reflecting on what it means to cherish can be a great way of cutting through the mess to find clarity.
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Check out our most recent articles here.
Like a tree planted by streams of water
“That person is like a tree planted by streams of water”
Psalm 1 carries such a beautiful picture of the relationship between our ethics and our health and wellbeing. The poet calls us to avoid harmful behaviour but also calls us in a positive sense. Since we are created in God’s image, there is a part of all of us that loves to treat people well. When we spend time reflecting on our own behaviour, and how we can best care for those around us, I suggest that’s us nurturing the image of God in ourselves. It’s just like caring for a garden and can be as beautiful, or as much hard work.
No good tree bears bad fruit
No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
Jesus talked about the difference between good and bad people with directness and clarity we don’t often hear repeated. He certainly never claimed we could be perfect. He died, willingly, knowing that was the depth of our need for God’s help. But at the same time, Jesus was very clear about standards of behaviour that we could follow, despite our imperfect ethics. He continually reinforced how critical it was for us to follow those standards, for the sake of others.
Deep calls to deep
“Deep calls to deep, in the roar of your waterfalls”
I’ve written earlier about the experience of having significant disagreements with God. I’d like to suggest some of those ongoing disagreements might demonstrate we are listening to his image in us. If we are moved by compassion and concern for others, doesn’t that sound like an expression of the fruit of the Spirit?
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Made in the image of God
Being made in the image of God gives us innate value. One of the clear evils of abuse is disrespect for the image of God in people. Rather, God created us as incredibly precious creatures, and to love and cherish a person involves holding high regard for this being God made.
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